wrigley field is MILF paradise
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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