Sponge bath it is.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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