no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
