so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
