Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
