Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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