I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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