): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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