just tell him i said nine months
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
