That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
