thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
