And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
