So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
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All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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