walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Holy shit dude........stairs
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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