Nicole vs. Life
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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