I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
