yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
