She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
false alarm, still single
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
