"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
