so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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