nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
