So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
