he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
