I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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