And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
