Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
