He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
