his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
