my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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