Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
