bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
