Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just high enough for therapy.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
