I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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