I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
