You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
