You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
