I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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