Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
i believe in u and ur pee
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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