Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
