I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
