You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
