worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
