never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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