I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
