shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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