By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
