last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I cut my penus on the lid.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
