Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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