remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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