im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
