idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I've blown a few things in my day
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
