Your tits are I can't wait for
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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