My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
