This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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