Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize