Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
