And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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