david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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